What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Neither China nor Egypt, the largest construction visible from space is located in Europe. - Farmingdale Observer

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

My son died seven months ago at the age of 24 how do I know if he’s in heaven and can he see me and hear me and why have I not gotten any signs yet from him or Mom just not seeing the signs how do I know if he’s OK how do I know if he’s happy?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

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TEXT:

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

How often do you watch the news on TV?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Why do I get bored with porn so quickly? I can watch maybe half a video (5 mins max) and then get bored and do something else. I don't watch porn often, just a teenager. 17.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Why can't ugly women date hot guys? I know a woman who wants a hot BF but people would just laugh at her and ask her "what can you bring to the table for him?", isn't that messed up?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why are most people broke?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

How did my ex move on very fast?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Do you have any fantasies you are ashamed of?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.